


Like Real People Do

by Hexlorde



Category: Supernatural
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Amnesia, M/M, No beta we die like mne
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-09-25
Updated: 2020-09-25
Packaged: 2021-03-08 02:35:33
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,156
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26648377
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Hexlorde/pseuds/Hexlorde
Summary: Luke doesn’t remember a time before he and Sam lived in this secluded cabin, and that’s okay. He’s content, even if the few visitors they get glare at him and memories bubble just out of sight.
Relationships: Lucifer/Sam Winchester
Comments: 4
Kudos: 39





	Like Real People Do

**Author's Note:**

> Based off of the song “Like Real People Do” by Hozier.   
> I’ve had this on the backburner for so long, and even if it’s not perfect I’m glad to have it out. Enjoy!

Whenever Luke thinks about what Heaven must be like, he imagines something like this. A warm fire chasing away the autumn chill, a good book with a faded spine, and Sam only a few feet away as he cleans up from dinner. The clinking of dishes, something he knows should be familiar even in his condition, sends shivers down his spine as he listens. The one time he tried to explain to Sam why he likes being close at these times the best he could say is that he doesn’t feel alone then. 

Luke thinks he must have been alone very often, if the mere thought of those noises vanishing is enough to make his heart thud uncomfortably in his chest. Though that might just be the part of him that dreads loosing Sam. Heaven knows he would prefer silence over someone like Dean.

_ The last time Dean visited, he brought a pie. Sam later explained that it was his version of a peace offering, but at the time Luke had found it hard to see through the ever-present glower. Still, he tried to keep things civil. For Sam’s sake, of course. _

_ That resolution lasted until just before dinner, which Luke thought was a more than acceptable time to put up with the snide jabs that were sent his way every few minutes. You would almost think that the other man had forgotten the past few months as thoroughly as Luke had forgotten everything before that! _

_ Nevertheless, Luke had every intention of holding his tongue until Dean oh-so casually tossed out “I’m fine so long as  _ _ he _ _ isn’t sitting too close to us.” That was the last straw on the proverbial camel.  _

_ “Alright, what’s your problem?” Luke knew that he was shouting already, that the scrape of his chair was deafeningly loud as he stood up. “I’ve told you a thousand times;  _ **_I don’t know who you are._ ** _ I don’t even know who I am, other than how I must have been a damn saint for putting up with you for so long!” _

_ Dean yelled right back though, so maybe Luke wasn’t entirely in the wrong. “Oh yeah? You think I care about whatever lies you’ve been spitting? You ask me what my problem is and I’ll tell you! I’ve had to sit by and watch as the frickin Prince of Darkness manipulates my baby brother into believing that everything’s hunky dorky! And you know what, I’m sick of it! I’m sick of just standing around while you get ready to hurt him again!” _

_ “You-“ Luke could feel the anger and vitriol ready to spill out of his throat. Hell, he had welcomed it. But a pained noise drew his attention elsewhere. Sam was still standing off to the side, his face twisted as he looked at the other men. Something deep inside of Luke curdled at the thought of helping to put that look on that mans’ face. _

_ “I’ll be in our room if you need me,” he said. Without looking at their guest again he turned and marched out of the room, holding himself stiff until the bedroom door clicked shut. Then he had crumpled to the floor, not looking up until Sam came in to find him. _

Luke still doesn’t know what Sam and Dean had said after he had left. A part of him wants to imagine that the younger had cut his brother out of their lives, but he knows that Sam would probably be miserable if he did that. In the end it doesn’t really matter. Luke’s fine not knowing.

The clatter of dishes has died down, leaving Luke tense with anticipation. He tries not to show it, his nose still hurried in his book, but a chuckle from behind him means he hasn’t succeeded. Abandoning all pretenses he puts the book down and looks up with pleading eyes. Sam’s standing in the kitchen doorway, his sleeves damp even though they’re rolled up and his hair mused from being pushed back from his face. However, what really captures Luke’s attention (and adoration) is the soft smile playing on the taller man’s lips.

“I’ve just been in the kitchen for fifteen minutes,” Sam teases.

“That’s fifteen minutes too long,” Luke grumbles. “You’re going to have to work extra hard to make up for it.”

“Alright,” Sam says. That fond smile is still there as he settles in besides Luke, and Luke could swear that the warmth from it seeps into his bones as he wraps an arm around the taller man. They fit perfectly together, almost to the point where Luke would say they were made for each other. Sam had even joked about it before.

It’s oh so comfortable sitting like this, and though the book is open again Luke isn’t paying much attention to it. Sam’s hazel eyes, sparkling with warmth seem more important. Luke can feel himself relaxing back into the couch the longer they stay like that, fully content. Yeah, so long as he has this he’s fine not knowing the details.

_ Their first visitor (that Luke can remember) wasn’t Dean. It was a man in a rumpled trench coat with blue eyes that opened impossibly wide when Luke answered the door. The strange man had taken a step back and was reaching for something in his coat by the time that Sam had arrived, panting and out of breath. _

_ “Cas wait!” he had shouted, one hand held out. “It’s not what it looks like, everything’s fine.”  _

_ That hadn’t done much to reassure the dark-haired man. “Sam, you know who that is, I can feel-“ _

_ “Luke, can you excuse us for a minute?” Sam had interjected. “Cas is working with some old news and I need to get him up to speed.” _

_ Luke had nodded and stepped aside, letting Sam drag this Cas out into the yard. He hadn’t been close enough to hear anything, and he couldn’t read lips for shit, but he could still see that Sam didn’t relax throughout the entire discussion. Neither did Cas for that matter, but there were a few times when blue eyes would turn back to him, each time more shocked than the last. _

_ Cas never came back to the door, instead turning and walking down the road. Sam had visibly sighed and buried his head in his hands. Luke had taken that as his cue to go out and comfort him. They never talked about who the man was, or why there was a spark of recognition where Luke’s missing memories were. _

_ While Cas had been treated as someone that Sam knew, maybe even a friend, the next visitor was not as well received. As soon as Sam had opened the door he had made a choked noise and stepped back.  _

_ Luke didn’t take the time to register the woman’s dark skin or stern expression. All he saw was that something about her scared Sam, and she couldn’t let that stand. _

_ “Leave,” he growled as he pushed his way in front of Sam. Behind him Sam made a panicked noise, but he ignored it in favor of staring down the woman.  _

_ She scowled at him as she said “You really think you have any authority over  _ me, _ especially after what you have done?” _

_ Luke scoffed. “I don’t know who you are, or what beef we might have. Sam doesn’t like you though, so you have to  _ **_leave_ ** _.” _

_ While she wasn’t exactly expressive Luke could still make out a flicker of shock at his words. She tilted her head to the side, quite like how Cas had, before spinning on her heel and striding away. Luke tracked her as far as he could, not even blinking before Sam tugged on his arm again. _

_ He turned to be instantly smothered in Sam’s embrace. Uneven breaths rocked through his chest, and Luke just clung on tight. Whoever that woman was scared Sam like  _ _ almost _ _ no one else, leaving the two of them reeling in her wake. _

So far the woman hasn’t come back, and Luke prays that she never does. There was something hateful in her eye as she looked at them, something that promised pain and blood if she could get away with it.

“Are you alright?”

Luke looks down to see Sam giving him a curious look. “Why do you ask?”

“You haven’t turned the page in a while,” Sam says. His hair is fanned out where he lays in Luke’s lap, and a part of him balks at telling the other man.

“Yeah, I’m fine. Just lost in memories I guess,” Luke says. Almost instantly Sam tenses. It isn’t much, just barely noticeable, but it’s predictable. Just like every other time he thought that Luke was remembering something from Before.

“Yeah, a character here reminded me of that woman who came up to the house that one time. They have the same “I’ll throw you off a cliff if I can” vibe.” It’s technically the truth, even if it is a vast oversimplification. Sam accepts it with a shudder. 

“Yeah, she’s not someone that I want to have around if I can help it,” the taller man says. He relaxes back into Luke’s lap, long fingers idly stroking his knee. Luke doesn’t say anything, instead trying to focus on his book.

This time it really is a mention in the book that sends him back into his memories. The protagonist falls into a muddy ditch, and all Luke can think is “ _ That’s not what it’s like.” _

_ The first thing that Luke can remember is the pit. He remembers the thunderstorm that was raging outside, and how it pushed the mud down onto him. He remembers being so weak that he couldn’t struggle, couldn’t do more than twitch as dirt and leaves started to fill his mouth. _

_ Then a face had appeared at the edge of the pit, pale and streaked with mud. Sam had been terrified, his eyes wide and hands shaking. He never said why he was. _

_ “Lu-?” That was all that reached him in the bottom of the pit. Enough for him to tilt his head in confusion and mouth “What?” _

_ Sam’s eyes had gone impossibly wider at that. He had scrambled down and lifted him out of the pit, setting him down on the soaked grass. He had been so gentle, lifting up his head as he coughed. _

_ “Who are you?” he had asked. Sam has frozen, right up until his eyes had gone wide as realization hit him. “And who am I? What are we doing out here?” _

_ Sam had stuttered for a moment before saying “Lu- Your name’s Luke. I’m Sam, and I’m going to get you out of here.” With that he had scooped Luke up and carried him out of the woods, not offering any other explanation. Luke hasn’t asked about it since. _

Outside the cabin thunder cracks. The fire seems to pop and sway in return, drawing a smile from Luke. Sam is dozing now, his massive chest rising and falling in a steady rhythm. Luke hasn’t stopped stroking his hair, but his book lays forgotten. 

He knows that he could put all the pieces together if he so wished. They’re right there in front of him, from the way Sam stuttered over his name to the snatches of conversation that were just loud enough for Luke to hear. He doesn’t even think it would take much effort for the cloud of memories he feels hovering just out of reach to wash over him. All he has to do is fit the puzzle together. 

But Sam had been so terrified in those first few weeks. He would jump whenever he realized that Luke was in the room, and more than a few times Luke has privately thought of him as an overgrown bunny rabbit searching for a hawk.

Luke doesn’t want those days to come back.

Maybe he wouldn’t mind their visitors acting that way around him sometimes, but Sam should never fear him. No, Sam was meant to be loved and love in return, to stand tall and proud by his side. He doesn’t know where that side would be if he remembers, but for now it’s here in the cabin. Here with the warm fire, and enough food to keep them well fed, and remote enough that even Dean doesn’t come often.

He hums and sets the book aside. It is an interesting read, but he’s a bit worn out of the protagonist moaning and groaning about how he was made to do evil actions by demons. Watching Sam is much more interesting and the warmth in his chest is much more rewarding. Slowly, so slowly that he doesn’t realize it’s happening (though he’s always been a bit fuzzy on the whole process) Luke slips into sleep as well. His hand still rests on Sam, who provides a grounding weight on him that refuses to let him go.


End file.
